Smart & Angry

So why haven't I posted in a while? Surely there have been a lot going on in the music world such as:

Big Boi with his new solo song

Kardinal Offishall remixing it up with Twista and Sean Paul

2dope.com dropping a new Wale Song that this blog will obviously co-sign

Alicia Keys and Jack White collaborating for the new bond movie

So what's been the hold up?

I had a friend ask me a while ago: would I rather live a comfortable life or always be on the move? That was a pretty good question.

Frederick Douglass is one of my greatest inspirations. For those who don't know, Frederick Douglass was best known for writing "Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave," which was an Autobiography about how he was born slave child. However as he began to learn how to read, he slowly discovered he would become dissatisfied with his condition and desired freedom.

Growing up, my family ideals were not up to the standards of the likes of, say the Cleaver family on "Leave it to Beaver." I learned early as my child that the way our family functioned wasn't right. Coming home in fear was not a right way to live.

Going to school was not easier either. Being Asian and short set me back socially in grade and high school. Also with the disconnection I had with my family, I couldn't relate to the other Asian kids and the culture, thus isolating me.

When you are put in that type of world, you have two choices of living: Settling with the world around you, or strive for better, happier life. Since I knew there was a better world outside this, I chose the latter. Desiring Freedom (or Hustlin' as Jay-Z would put it) has been the way I have been living.

However lately I discovered another way that I have been living synonymously being on the move.

Recently I had some reality hit me to remind me that my "Good Situation" that I am living right now is only temporary and that my future can result in joblessness, homeless and in debt in January (which I was this past January). Quickly my mind started going in survival mode and started boiling plans in my head for what next steps to take. However instead of being active about it, anxiety kicked in and I became reactive about it. I stated to become angry and depressed (thus not posting on this blog). As this happened I realized that all my life as I was chasing for success in life, I've been running in fear.

I fear going back to the world I tried to leave such a long time ago. Fear going back to a world of dissatisfaction and basically a slave to my surroundings. Living in fear is not healthy at all. You end up forgetting what is good around you.

As reality tells me this will end in the future, I can't forget to still take advantage of this situation in the present: Enjoy the good people around, Explore new things, and grow as a person from this. When all this is slowly coming to a close, then I should slowly plan my next step.

Life has its lifecycles, all good opportunities as well as unfortunate circumstances will come to an end eventually. We all must plan accordingly when that time comes. Until then, we can't live in fear as we might as well enjoy the cycle. Nothing will last forever, but we'll find a way.

Kanye West & Maroon 5 - Heard 'em Say Nothing Last Forever (Live)

I think we will be back on schedule next week.